March 08, 2019

Interview with Jeff Brown from Shenzhen, China

February 27, 2019

Calling All NY Wafers

Well, the excitement mounts. We are only a few weeks away from the 6th Annual NY Wafer Summit Meeting (6ANYWSM), which will occur on April 13 at 1pm. Wafers are threatening to fly in from LA and Indonesia, and I think a couple of penguins from Antarctica as well. I am now asking all active participants on this blog who plan to attend this Incredible Event to send your email address to me at I will then send you the venue, and we can meet there on April 13. This is classified information; do not reveal the venue to anyone!

For those of you who have tragically failed to participate since 5ANYWSM: rotten luck, amigos. I begged you to participate, but did you listen? No! And now, yr out in the cold. Suggestion: as of April 17, start participating!

For those nonparticipants who have been sending me expensive gifts (i.e., bribes): What do you take me for? Save yr money, muchachos!

Finally, this blog will shut down during April 9-16. I'll be reminding you of this closer to the date.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, sadder than not being a Wafer.


February 16, 2019



So I guess we're now in a state of national emergency. I myself feel energized by this, and hope that Trumpo will send in the Marines. Where, it doesn't matter. All that's important is that they arrive in one country or another, kill lots of people, divest the place of its resources, declare a victory, and leave, while The American People, with their cutting-edge intellects, cheer them on. It's like when Robert Duvall was ecstatic (in the movie Apocalypse Now) over the smell of napalm--invigorating. We are so fabulous, spreading democracy around the globe. Who couldn't love us, really?

On the Wafer front, there is much to celebrate. The 6th Annual New York Wafer Summit Meeting (6ANYWSM) is less than two months away, and NY is already astir regarding my arrival. By April 13, things will have reached fever pitch. I've gotten so many requests by non-blog participants to attend, along with promises of lavish gifts, that I've had to hire a secretary just to handle the correspondence. I told her to be polite, but she seems to want to answer these letters with lines like "You'll be allowed to attend when hell freezes over," etc. Sweet gal, tho, really.

And then there's the Italy book, just accepted for publication. My happy book, I call it. It's got 21 illustrations; I've been busy trying to obtain permission to reprint these. As for the text--modesty aside--it's some of the best writing I've ever done. I'm expecting sales so extensive, that I'll finally be able to put a down payment on that villa in Tuscany I've had my eye on for some time now. Life is good.

And so, my Wafers and Waferettes, let us continue on our merry way. Rome is burning, the trollfoons have been destroyed, and all's well with the world.


February 06, 2019



So, the 2019 SOTU has come and gone. Yawn. Nothing we didn't expect. The fact that Trumpola didn't have me write it for him has hurt my feelings more than I can say. Because if he had, I would have brought him outta the closet:

"My fellow Americans. On some level, all of you know that my job, historically speaking, is to dismantle the United States. The place isn't doing anyone any good; it's long overdue to retire the whole project. I think I can take a lot of credit for the damage I've inflicted on the country since I took office. Now, I pledge to you, my dear citizens, that you ain't seen nothing yet. The gloves are off; by November 2020, the place will be a shambles. Liz Warren, ha ha, turned out not to be Pocahontas after all; and I shall be bringing in Lorenzo Riggins to head up the State Dept. As for P. Snoots, just take a guess.

"All of us are turkeys, myself included. I thank you and good night.

"Oh, I almost forgot: Morris Berman will be heading up the dept. of Total and Massive Destruction (TMD)."


January 22, 2019



Nothing really new to report. Every day brings yet another instance of CRE (Cranial-Rectal Embedment), whether on the part of Trumpi, Congress, or our enlightened citizens. I am still excited about the possibility of Tulsi Gabbard marching into the White House in 2021, flanked by Lorenzo Riggins and Penny Snoots. Our greatness is unchallenged.


January 10, 2019


Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!"

Was Poe predicting the end of the United States? Was he a far-seeing clairvoyant? One has to wonder. Meanwhile, we have Trumpi doing his best to discredit himself and perhaps the country as well. I'm a believer that we get the leaders we deserve, and if he is behaving like a choleric child, so is a good part of the nation. No suaveness, no finesse, no social skills--just acting like a buffoon and throwing tantrums. Which is good, from a declinist point of view: Trumpi was "hired" by history to accelerate our decline and he is clearly doing his job. Rave on, Trumpi; you have 168 Wafers cheering you on. Only 9 days into 2019, and the possibilities for further damage seem endless.

As for the rest of the population, I can't help thinking of those lines from my favorite Christmas carol:"Above thy deep and dreamless sleep/The silent stars go by..."