February 15, 2018



So as I was saying at the end of the last thread, I feel bad about the odd disappearance of Sarah Palin and Ging Newtrich. Come to think of it, Rom Mittney has been rather silent, and Michele Bachmann rose briefly, only to sink once more into the deep. I miss her cutting-edge intellect. Botox Face is surely hiding in the wings, wondering when to strike. Of course, the most dramatic absence is that of Bunmi Laditan. Who could forget that heart-warming book, "Toddlers Are Assholes"? And what are the Bunmis of this world, I ask you? Are they not orifices? If you prick them, do they not bleed? Ah, Bunmi, Bunmi.

Anyway, Wafers are encouraged to ruminate on all of these fine Americans, and to create great scenarios of collapse, in which some or all of them play starring roles.


February 04, 2018

Mumbai in the West Village

Hi there Waferinos-

As some of you know, I am immensely wealthy, and was the mastermind behind 9/11, which I also funded. Since 2001, I've been pouring billions into Hamas and Hezbollah, but not with any great results. As a result, I've decided to move in a radically new direction, and launch an Indian restaurant in NY. I'm thinking 6th Ave and 11th St. might be a good location.

I'll be flying in chefs from the Punjab, Kashmir, Kerala, and Uttar Pradesh (BTW, when Indians want to say "That's hogwash," they say "That's Uttar Pradesh"). Each of these cooks will receive 7-figure salaries, and Salman Rushdie has promised to dine there on opening night. Note that the restaurant will have a special Wafer Room, reserved exclusively for Wafers.

So I need you guys to vote on what wd be the best name for this establishment. Here are the ones I've come up with so far: Moti Mahal, Taj Mahal, Light of Bengal, Muglai Palace, Rajah's Feast, Nehru's Nosh, Viceroy's Victuals, Curzon's Curryhouse, Mahatma's Masala, and Hindi Harvest. If anyone has another suggestion, pls feel free to do a write-in vote.

Mango Lassi to you all-

-Your Guru, Sri Berm

January 25, 2018

Badu-Torres in 2020!


I think this says it all:


This is the winning ticket. 1st, a cutting-edge intellect like Erykah Badu in the driver's seat; then, a woman who knows what she wants in a cheeseburger in the VP slot. This is an America I can believe in!


January 17, 2018


Well, Waferinos, it's time to start a new thread. Problem: my cranium is as empty as Bush Jr.'s. I can hear the wind whistling between my ears. I keep biding my time, waiting for a foreign Suez Moment (fSM), but thus far Trumpi has yet to generate another, hopefully more outrageous, shitholegate. Jesus, what's a weary declinist to do?

Anyway, coming off the last thread, I like the idea of Wafers forming face-to-face meeting groups, such as we've done at the NY Wafer Summit(s), and plotting the coup de grace, whereupon (to quote the ever-prescient Benjamin Rush) the nation will implode in "an orgy of selfishness." Said orgy is, in fact, going on in slo-mo; it only accelerates when Wal-Mart has a sale, and you can see what The End will look like up close. I keep waiting for some Jesus-like figure holding up a sign in the midst of one of those events, and crying, "Kill! Kill your neighbor! That's it! The meek won't inherit shit!" Weren't a bunch of people recently arrested for feeding the homeless? That's the spirit!

We have strayed so far from anything decent. Apparently, a group of black women met with Obama shortly after his inauguration...


But this could apply to practically any major political figure today, really. Once, the US was drifting. Now, it's just circling the drain.


January 08, 2018

Oprah-Riggins in 2020!

Well, Wafers, what can I say? The US is circling the drain in a race to the bottom. Absurdity is the touchstone of the final days of an empire. A country filled with horses' asses can only generate horse's-ass politics, and can only put horses' asses in the White House. Where is Joe the Plumber when we need him?

I've been reading Fellini's autobiography. He records several instances of meeting with American producers to obtain financing for various films. In most cases, they would have him come to their hotel rooms in Rome, greet him in their underwear, with a glass of Scotch in one hand and a telephone in the other (talking to Tokyo or whatever), wheeling and dealing. They had no interest in cinema or art; they were vulgar hustlers, nothing more. All of this dates from the 70s, or earlier. Fellini doesn't comment on any of this, he just reports it. The difference from European producers couldn't be more stark.

I would ask: How did we manage to produce such a garbage culture?, but I think I've already answered that. Anyway, Onward Toward Self-Destruction!


December 24, 2017

Ho Ho Ho

Well, Waferinos, Merry Xmas! May this year be filled with pastrami, corned beef, matzo ball soup, cole slaw with Russian dressing, dill pickles, and Cel-Ray tonic.

Right now, 2018 is more or less a blank slate for me. I have to give a lecture in Merida in March, and will visit friends in Ireland and England in October. But of course, I am looking forward to what Trumpi will do, and can only hope it will be extremely damaging. Which is likely, as we all know. 2017 was a bumper year for him screwing the country, and 2018 could well be even more horrific. Maybe we will nuke Toronto and Paris after all, as I've been urging the Pentagon to do. Hey, a man can dream.

Kim Jong-un's haircut continues to look absurd, and for that alone, North Korea also needs to be nuked.

Anyway, Wafers are marching ahead, 173 strong, showing the remaining 325 million what a real life is like. To all of you, comrades in arms, the best to us in 2018.